Wam! Bam!… May I have another? :-) -- The Bayou of North Bellmore, Long Island

3 words – Hot Damnnnnn (I’m counting “damn” as 2 words due to the increased amount of “n’s” needed to portray the emphasis I was seeking to express). Looking at this place from the outside and even those first 20-40 steps after you walk in, this place can be confused for a serious dump. The bar area is decorated with cheesy confetti and Mardi Gras items that look like they purchased at a garage sale. The dining area is a poorly disguised seating area from when this place was probably a hoppin’ Irish pub back in the 80’s. Hell, even their website (http://www.bayou4bigfun.com/) looks like my 2 year old niece put this thing together… in her sleep… with a crayon. Now mama always said, don’t judge a book by its cover… and no joke, this place is not to be messed with!

I’ve been to New Orleans before and I like to credit myself with having a good idea of what southern style, New Orleans-inspired food should taste like. I’ve messed around with some of the best crawfish, gumbo, etouffee, and jambalaya you can have. The Bayou seriously competes with the BEST OF THE BEST for New Orleans style cuisine.

I tried this place out with a good buddy of mine. Both of us were pretty damn hungry, so we ate and drank like we were going to the electric chair. We kicked it off with a couple of Hurricane drinks which were recommended to us by the waitress – a combination of 4 rums and juices over ice in a signature Bayou glass. Very good and very strong. For appetizer, we had the crawfish tempura which is topped with their “red hot mayo.” This was a solid appetizer to get us going, but not their best work. My friend then had a cup of the gumbo soup which was probably the best I’ve ever tasted. Big chunks of meat with bell peppers, onions, and great seasonings… YUM! For the entrees, he got the “Uptown Etouffee” with shrimp and I got the “Blackened Voodoo” (also with shrimp). My classic line when speaking to the waiter or waitress when I’m looking to get something spicy is, “I want it hot enough where my asshole burns.” Now I know this is not proper dialogue to share with the public, but this place took me seriously. My tremendously tasty blackened shrimp, which was a meal in itself, were placed over a full dish of jambalaya which had shrimp, chicken, and sausage in it (another full meal). On top of that… a full habanero pepper. I enjoyed every single bite of this dish, down to the habanero pepper, which I also managed to engulf. With tears in my eyes and sweat dripping down my forehead, I’m pretty sure I high-fived my friend.

A lineup of drinks, including the "Hurricane" (far left)

Get to this place if you live in the area and have a fairly priced, but very good meal. Don’t go for the ambiance or expecting to impress a date, but go with the intentions of having a solid meal and feeling completely satisfied when you walk out of there. On my scale of 1-10, 10 being HOLY HABANERO status, I give this place an 8. Points lost on the scenery and corny decorations, but very good food and great service!      

 

"Uptown Shrimp Etouffee"

John DeMartino III

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